Never Let Me Go
by Gemmaaaaa
Summary: It's the eve of Mithian's wedding to Cenred's son and the broken hearted Merlin pays a visit to the love of his life to say goodbye.


It wasn't fair. He watched Arthur and Gwen dance happily continuously before the court. The court was merry for some unknown reason; he did not care if he was honest. It was not fair that Arthur and Gwen received their fairy tale ending whilst others suffered heartbreak constantly. He did not begrudge his friends their happiness the gods knew they deserved it after everything they had gone through to be together. They were like something from a fairy tale.

But he did not believe in fairy tales.

Not the tales of love and romance at least. The loss he'd suffered, the hurt, anger, heartbreak, rejections had hardened him slightly. He'd discovered that love hurt, greatly. That was the lesson his destiny had taught him harshly. He closed his eyes and images of soft brown hair and matching eyes came unbidden to his mind.

Gods he missed her so much. It had been two hundred days since he'd last seen her, last felt her lips upon his own or even held her in his arms. The news Arthur had informed him was crushing; unwittingly his best friend had brought his world crashing down upon him.

Mithian was to be wed.

To the deceased King Cenred's son.

Tomorrow.

He'd known Morgana's recent attack upon the kingdom had frightened Mithian's father but to seek political alliance and security with anyone in Cenred's bloodline was a mistake – even he knew that! Cenred's son – the new King Marc – had already had three wives previous. All dead.

One beheaded.

One died after childbirth.

The other mysteriously poisoned after miscarrying a son.

What would that monster do to Mithian?

If anything did happen to Mithian, he'd blame himself. It was him who'd sent her home after she'd returned to Camelot to be with him. It was the right thing to do…She was a Princess! Her linage had no male heirs so she shall inherit the throne after her father's death. He cannot become her King. His destiny is Arthur, to protect him. And he cannot do that when ruling another kingdom.

He'd learned long ago to deny his own wants. He'd long ago accepted that his wishes would never come true, as fairy-tale as it sounded. Like he said he didn't believe in fairy tales. As girlish as it may be, when he was merely a lad, he'd dreamed – yearned – for marriage, for love for children. The bard's music which was making everyone else happy was like a mallet pounding into his skull mercilessly.

Was Mithian willing to be wed to this monster? Gods what if she was being forced? He'd never know. After she married the bastard he'd likely never see her again, unless she travelled with her husband to Camelot for peace talks, perhaps her belly swollen with his child? The thought was repulsing.

It drove him from the great hall with speed; he couldn't take it anymore, the moment Arthur had captured Gwen's lips with his own, he had to leave. He needed fresh air, he couldn't watch this anymore. His breakneck speed had a few raised eyebrows aimed towards him but he didn't care – this court had seen him do far worse things.

He knew what he wanted to do…But would it help or would it make matters worse?

Memories were flashing through his mind rapidly, he felt like it was going to burst. His eyes were stinging; he was sure he was crying like a child but he didn't care. When he reached the physician's chamber he burst through the old rickety door he'd been promising to fix for a month, he completely ignored Gaius' cry of his name. He didn't like worrying the man who was a father to him but at the moment it was the least of his concerns.

Slowly he picked up the shard of white crystal and held it level with his face; once more he wondered if this was a bad idea? Would it bring them anything other than more pain? Just as he was contemplating putting the crystal down he remembered the feeling of her arms around him, of her lips on his…And he could see her wedding that bastard.

He had to do this; damn the consequences!

"Mithian." He whispered into the crystal and watched as the image of her sleeping appeared. He closed his eyes and allowed his magic to take over, to take him too her.

Xoxox

When he opened his eyes he was not in his own tiny chamber, not within Camelot. And there she was; sleeping peacefully. He should not wake her…But he had too. Slowly he walked towards the bed, each step calming him – he felt at peace, at home. She was his _home._

Slowly he lowered himself onto the bed beside her and traced her cheek with a shaking finger. This was the only woman who he truly felt he could be himself with – of course there was Freya but…He could not think of that now.

"Mithian…" He whispered and watched as her eyes begun to flicker open. Even now, she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen; even more beautiful than Morgana had once been. Her brown eyes opened fully and took in the sight of him before she sat up to face him.

"Merlin!" He allowed her shaking hands to cup his face, eyes wide as if she couldn't believe he was really here.

"Am I dreaming?" She whispered, he leaned into her touch, almost not believing this to be true himself.

"No my love, I'm here."

And that was when she flung herself into his arms and he held her. Even when she began to weep, because he found himself joining her.

"My Mithian." He whispered before kissing her for the first time in months, and when he started he couldn't stop. He'd missed her too much; she kissed him back with as much vigour as him, if not more. "My Merlin." She whispered against his lips. "You came for me…" Then they returned to ravishing each other's mouths.

"I don't want to marry him…" She whispered. And he placed his forehead against hers, his eyes stinging again at the remembrance of her upcoming marriage.

"I know."

"I want it to be you…"

Their tears mingled freely as they rocked together slowly. Tomorrow she'd have to marry Cenred's son. He'd lose her forever; the thought strengthened the darker part of himself, the part that wanted to murder her betrothed in cold blood.

"As do I sweetheart…" He choked slightly on a sob, "but it cannot be."

"Why? I could leave with you right now! We could be _happy." _He grabbed her wrists slightly and shook his head and spoke the words he did not want to say but knew were true.  
"You were not destined to be with me." She almost smirked slightly.

"You and destiny…" He didn't want this night to end; but they had precious little time to spare and as if reading his thought she whispered, "we've always been on borrowed time haven't we?" As another tear dripped from her eye.

"We'll always have this time." He would cherish the memories of this night for the rest of his life. Even if they were heart breaking.

"Then let's make it our own."

Without much thought their lips met once more and clothes were shed.

For that once night she was _his _because he'd forever he _hers_.

Xoxox

It was time; but he didn't want to leave. He was crying once more as was she, already dawned in a bridal gown he wished was for him. How could he leave her now? After everything they'd shared; he couldn't leave her to wed that beast.

"Come with me." He whispered desperately and she smiled sadly toward him.

"If you had said that last night I would have gone without a second thought…But now…I cannot…" She moved toward him, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Because last night you were right, it is not my destiny to be with you, it is my destiny to be a pawn to prevent war upon my realm."

Now she was being the strong one…And it was breaking his heart more than when he was being strong.

"Mithian…" He half sobbed, half begged.

"I know…" She kissed him gently before closing her eyes and whispering. "But you were right. And now it's time for me to stop being selfish, to think of my county and my people. Even if it destroys me." She took a step back, her eyes never leaving his.

He made a sound, not actual words, just of sheer heartbreak.

"They're all waiting for me…" She was sobbing too; perhaps he should not have come.

"I'll be waiting for you…" He whispered.

"In another life." She smiled sadly.

"And in this one." She nodded and opened the door without breaking their eye contact, she was leaving. His body roared in protest but there was little he could do.

"I love you." She whispered and sent him a pleading look.

"And I you Princess." He watched another tear fall from her face. These last few moments were the last he'd ever see of her…

"Goodbye Merlin." She said before slowly turning, her entire body shaking and walking from the room with one backwards glance at him.

And then she was gone.

**Xoxox**

**Is it wrong that I'm crying right now? Anyway this is for shell22! I really hope you like it! And once more sorry it's taken so long sweetie! **

**To everyone else who reads this: I hope you all like it too! Also if you listen to Florence and the Machine's "Never Let me Go" whilst reading the Merlin/Mithian conversations it makes it all a lot more emotional! That's what I did when writing it.**

**Please review and let me know! They honestly make me go - :D**


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